Group Conscience Guide

Recovering Couples Anonymous: A Twelve Step Program for Couples, 4th Edition 2013 pages 73-82

Developing RCA Groups

An Informed Group Conscience:

Where Does RCA Get Its Guidance?

The Second Tradition states, "For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as known in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern." When a group needs to address an issue, the members get all the information they can and come together to discuss it. We seek to be guided by a Higher Power in reaching a decision that will be good for the group as a whole. This decision is normally called the group conscience, and it is usually wiser than any individual member's conclusion.

One issue common to many RCA groups is that of the founding couple becoming the de facto final authority for the group. In these instances - and often with the best of intentions - personalities have been placed before principles. With honest sharing and through the process of group conscience, often difficult issues like this can be addressed gently, positively, and in the spirit of loving discussion.

In RCA, as in all Twelve-Step fellowships, our leaders are simply trusted servants exercising only limited authority. When a group is starting up, usually more experienced couples guide the meeting, attending to most of the tasks. Once the group is firmly established, however, these couples prudently tend to retire to the sidelines where they may be consulted but not interfere with the principle of rotation of service. Sharing responsibilities and working together are the underpinnings that promote the effective development of the group conscience.

Since the concept was first developed in Alcoholics Anonymous, years of Twelve-Step experience have demonstrated that the group conscience process does work. More than simply majority rule, the group conscience is the powerful notion that if people have a common spiritual commitment and respectfully listen to one another until a shared view emerges, they can rise above petty individual concerns and unite for a common purpose. In RCA our overarching purpose is to stay committed to intimate and loving relationships and to help other recovering couples restore their Coupleships.

How Does the Group Conscience Differ From a Majority Vote?

What exactly is the group conscience? And how does it differ from a group opinion or a majority vote? And what is the best way to "get there"?

A true group conscience strives for consensus, not simply majority rule. This involves respectful and open-hearted listening to all viewpoints, as well as to the quiet voice of our Higher Power. Working deliberately, following the RCA Steps and Traditions, and placing principles before personalities, gradually a collective view tends to evolve. The group needs to hear all of its members, often more than once, so that the group's collective insight prevails rather than the opinions of a dominant few. At its best, the group conscience is the coming together of the entire group in a common purpose, a true spiritual expression of the whole group. It is based on mutual trust and respect, not simply the winning of one faction over another.

As one RCA member shared about the evolution of her understanding:

"At first, group conscience simply was a vote: You get your side and I'll get my side, and then we'll vote. Now my concept of group conscience has grown as I begin to understand each of the words in the Second Tradition. The informed group conscience means to me that we try to profit from those who have gone before us; whether these are majority or minority experiences, And then we seek a collective understanding of the guidance of our Higher Power. And with this, we try to fulfill the primary purpose of our group-increasing the commitment and intimacy of our relationships, and helping other recovering couples."

How Important Is the Word "Informed"?

A central element of the concept of group conscience should be the word "informed"- something often left out of the discussion. Without the word "informed," a fellowship's group conscience could mean almost anything, easily becoming the rule of a dominant clique. When a group's sense of what is appropriate is "informed" and their deliberations respectful, the results are usually enlightened and well thought out. Without sufficient insight, respect, and deliberation, the group’s conscience can stray from RCA principles.

How Does a Group Get Informed?

First, if we are to achieve an informed group conscience, we will learn about our RCA Traditions. We will read our literature and be willing to share that knowledge with newcomer couples. We will understand and participate in our service structure. To ensure that we truly have group conscience meetings, we will seek guidance through prayer or meditation. The only authority in a group conscience is our Higher Power.

The Formula for Getting the Group Conscience

An effective formula for an informed group conscience calls for :

  • a straightforward explanation of the issue at hand in all its aspects;

  • the Chair polling the group members for their views (this should be less a debate than a calm and respectful airing of views);

  • the rotation around the group continuing a second time, a third time, or until all have had their turn, giving even the shyest person an equal voice (the idea is not to "win" but to come together as a group on a topic).

  • The Chair will usually speak only after everyone else has talked.

We have found that when we continue the discussion in this way, we can usually achieve a united group conscience. When the group agrees that the discussion has been completed, the Chair will summarize the discussion. If we cannot reach a consensus, it is a good idea to postpone a decision to a later date. Only if a decision must be made immediately should a vote be taken, voting as individuals rather than as couples. A group conscience does not mean that everyone is happy with a decision, but that we are satisfied that it is the best one we can make under the circumstances.

Issues and Problems for the Group Conscience Process

The impact of group conscience decisions can be seen in numerous ways: from the election of officers to the selection of our World Service Organization Board; from how a group chooses to handle people with special issues to the development and publication or RCA literature. Here are just a few of the issues some RCA groups have dealt with through the process of informed group conscience:

  • How do we as a group respond when formerly active RCA couples separate?

  • What qualifications do we want for our group's Contact Couple to the World Service Organization?

  • How do we handle a local TV station's request for an RCA couple to appear on one of their shows?

  • How do we address a member's motion to change our meeting day, time, or location?

  • How do we establish a prudent reserve for our group?

  • How do we address a member's motion to increase the Seventh Tradition's suggested contribution?

  • How does a group develop its guidelines on cross-talk?